is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
