My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
