he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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