No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
