You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
