I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
