oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
