Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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