You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
