Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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