it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
