I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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