Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
