I am in a vortex of obligation.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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