just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
