I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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