mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I want to be your penis for a week.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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