i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
