1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
