so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
