you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
