I am full of burrito and curiosity
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
