I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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