I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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