Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
