paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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