I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
