You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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