the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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