god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
