I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
