i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I need to stop coming to work sober
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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