About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
