she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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