Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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