I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
