Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
