I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
well you can't waste a boner
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
