the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
