He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
