The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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