Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
