In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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