great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
