i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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