Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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