Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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