So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
