Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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