I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
