why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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