your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
